Fred Gets Robotic (part 1 of 4)

I'm a single guy, living alone. Housework is not my favorite activity. Some tasks--- dish- and clothes-washing, for example--- aren't too bad because I can start the process and walk away, doing something else while a mindless (and boredom-proof) machine does the actual work.

But other tasks that require full bodily involvement are way down on my list of Fun Things To Do. For example, vacuuming, if you'll pardon the phrase, really sucks.

And my ancient vacuum *really, really* sucked. No, wait, it *didn't* suck--- no, that's misleading too. What I mean is: My vacuum sucked at sucking. It was time for a new one.

When I used to have a large house, I'd joke that my dream was to own a riding vacuum, like an indoor lawn tractor. I'd ride around, chewing up dust bunnies and small rugs, taking care not to spill my adult beverage as I negotiated the not-so-treacherous terrain. Obviously, that dream never came true. (Though I suspect there is a niche market opportunity there!)

My current place is a smallish three-floor condo with a mix of floor surfaces; carpet, rugs, wood, vinyl. I wanted a vacuum that would handle all the surfaces well, and that would make the job as painless as possible; that didn't suck at sucking; that would be my last vacuum for a long time; that wouldn't need bags; and that wouldn't be a hassle to move from floor to floor.

I looked at the standard canisters units. Nah. Too bulky, and a pain to carry from floor to floor, what with the long hoses, wands and such.

Standard uprights didn't appeal a lot: I had a standard upright--- that's what I was replacing. Also, standard uprights wouldn't get very far under some bulky furniture I have; for instance, a large and very heavy bureau/dresser thing that hasn't been moved since I bought this place, and that probably won't be moved until I depart. It's even hard to see underneath it, but I suspect that the dust bunnies there have probably evolved into something worthy of Jurassic Park. (Must... dust... faster...)

The high-tech uprights at least were interesting, with cyclonic action, unusual wheels and steering, and a range of adjustments such that they could handle different floors without having to stop and change attachments. But they were expensive, and still were, well, plain old vacuums: I'd still be spending part of a day pushing them around the house. And they still wouldn't slay the Dustoraptors breeding under the large furniture.

I finally realized that what I really wanted with this:

Alas, Rosie the Housecleaning Robot doesn't exist. And I couldn't afford one if it did.

But one upside to the down economy is that many electronics vendors are slashing prices on their products. I caught a sale, and it was my birthday anyway (so I didn't mind a small splurge over what I would have spent on a good, albeit more normal vacuum), and I bought a Roomba.

It's an autonomous vacuum, guided by an array of sensors and a built-in computer. You start it, walk away, and some time later return to a cleaned floor.

And I do mean "a built-in computer." This is the motherboard for the thing--- yes, a vacuum with a motherboard:

Over the next couple days, I'll dissect my Roomba for you and tell you how it works. Even if you don't hate housework as much as I do, the tech is pretty interesting.

More tomorrow.

(Want a jump start? Here's the propaganda video from iRobot, the makers of Roomba: http://tinyurl.com/de98br The video is accurate, but the market-speak on the audio is a bit over the top. 8-) )